Passenger 57

Non-refundable; non-exchangeable ticket.

The flight doors are now closed!

Breaking up is an experience. It can be especially painful when you still love the person you're breaking up with, even though you may not be right for each other. While letting go might not be easy, it's the healthy thing to do and really is the fastest way to heal. Band-Aids removed. While I appreciate the good times I had together and why you love, focusing on only those things have clouded my judgment.

I'm occupied. Now that I'm single, I have a lot more time to myself. I'm picking my blog back up where I left it and returning to my creative outlet.

Moving on with my life. There's been nothing wrong with taking a day or two to cry and be sad, but it's been years. 3 years to be exact. The more time I spend thinking about what went wrong and how things could have been, the longer it's taken me to reclaim my life. That song playing on the radio isn't about me or my struggle... it's about their experience. Although I can relate...I choose to not dwell in their melodies of sorrow. Instead I choose to hear their words, learn and strike up my own path to being "heart healthy".

Thirty-four
 has been good to me and I'm improving. I feel like I'm at that point in my favorite movie where the inspirational song  is cued, a montage plays showing my struggle and now I'm strong enough to run up a flight of stairs...punch a punching bag off it's rack or nail a killer 8 count dance routine...complete with a backflip.  I'm breaking any habits that I've been meaning to get rid of and I'm going to start being the best version of myself. Opening myself up to the life, love and relationships that will really make me happy. Cultivating the relationships that I know will flourish and enhance my life.

Over the summer someone that I was spending quality time with did something that many people never do with me. They called "Bullshit" on my point of view. At that moment it stopped me in my tracks; I stumbled over my hurdle. Had me feeling like Lolo Jones in her last two Olympic bids. Watching everyone make it to the finish line, while my dumbass sits sulking. I instantly wanted to turn into a lion, roar and take a chunk out...but held it all in. I learned that day about representation and presentation of my life's events. I also learned that I needed to own my shit. So...

Dear Passenger 57

I've lingered around this layover for far too long. It's caused me to be stagnant. It's caused me to be bitter. It's caused me to be angry. It's also kept me from fully opening up to someone else, out of fear that you would come around again and I'd let you board this plane.

Today I'm owning me and I'm flying one way into the sunset(Corny...I know.). Destination unknown.

Fade to black.

My name is Ace, you better ask about me!
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3 comments:

fiwa said...

That tat takes on a whole new meaning, now! Proud of you for owning your shiz and working through it. You're in good company, speaking of which, may I suggest a change of venue? Like say, Seattle?! Can't blame a girl for trying. ;)

Mo said...

Breathe. Receive. It's all happening and you're ready.

Ace Cauthen said...

I think about that move all the time.