In 1 Piece

My internet access is limited here to almost nothing. I'm updating from my mobile phone.

I'm finally starting to get settle here in Portland. we got some snow last, which is a big change of pace from the Las Vegas weather. It's nice to finally be back up North.

It's been pretty eventless around here though. I finally got out and experienced a little bit of the city last night. I hit up a Trailblazer game and somehow managed to win a few tickets to another sporting event next month.

Besides the welcoming party today, it's going to be quiet around here for a little. I'll try to update again, but the stories are racking up as I speak.
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Leaving Tonight

Adios Las Vegas!
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Friday Funny

It's quiet around here today. Just finished cutting the last of my ties here. Tonight I'm going out to have a good time. I guess you can say that I'm going to have my last hoo-rah as a resident of Las Vegas. Hopefully I'm able to function tomorrow.

Here is some Friday Funny. Watch it til the end.

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Are You?

Are you happy where you are in life right now? Is it where you thought it would be?

Think back to when you were a kid and had a plan for where you thought your life would go. Things like what you wanted to be when you grew up. Who you would marry. How many kids you were going to have. Where you would live for the rest of your life. How tall you would be. Other random things come to mind, but those stand out.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I wanted to be a chef. I wanted to cook all over the world and own restaurants all over the place. Cooking for some of the most famous people in the world. A couple of kids, wife and a nice big house with a driver to drive me around everywhere.

Splat!

Thanks to my 3rd grade teacher for throwing salt on my game. Ruin all my life plans. She told me that being a chef wasn't a credible job and I haven't been able to recover ever since. After that I never had a dream that I could hold onto. It's changed as I've grown older and traveled. I'm sure the state of the world has also molded some of my decisions. I can't really tell where it all comes from, but what I do know is it's changed.

So I asked you, what where your dreams?
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Terry Crews

So I promised a story yesterday and here it goes.

So on Mondays I go to a class at the gym called "Testosterone". The slogan of the class is, "A class to bring out the man in the man.". It has to be some of the most grueling workouts that I've ever done in my life. I'm a pretty tough guy and like to think that I'm in pretty good shape. I don't think that I've ever been able to function after completing one of the classes. I come home, shower and go right to bed for a few hours. By the way the class is at 2 in the afternoon. I can honestly say that unlike most of the meathead guys that have taken the class I've yet to throw up. I've come mighty close though.

Yesterday we had a replacement teacher for some reason. Usually it's a little short guy who kind of looks and sounds like this guy. (I've seen this guy on a couple of shows. Always cracks me up.) I spend a lot of time just laughing to myself because he sounds and acts just like the guy. It's funny how I get a kick out of some of the most random things. His replacement was one of the ladies who takes the class with us. She was just as intense as he is.

Usually when he teaches class he plays Hip-Hop or Rock music while we workout. She brought Techno and threw my entire workout off. It wasn't the point that it was Techno. It was the point that it was Techno to some of the most popular songs. It's crazy how a song can take a different form once it's been "Technoed". We are a little over halfway through with the workout when it happens.

I like to think of it in 3 ways. I had one of the following moments:

"A gay moment."
"A non-black person moment." or
"A White Chicks moment."

When this moment happens we are in the middle of jump roping. The beat comes in with a couple of piano chords and I instantly can tell what song is about come next. Not like some of the others that took me some time to catch on to what was playing. Then the words start blaring from the speakers...

"Making my way downtown, walking fast
Faces pass and I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead, just making my way
Making a way through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight"
In my head I even mad the sounds in between the verses. Don't even play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I had this shit-eating grin plaster all over my face. The instructor gives me the weirdest look and without blinking she says, "Everyone down in the pushup position; someone is having way to much fun here today!". I look around just like everyone, pretending to not know who she's talking about. I wish I could tell you that the pushups made me forget that that songs was playing, but I would be lying to you.

I made it through that class in one piece without throwing up again. Afterwards I had to help the instructor take her bag back to her car because it was just too heavy for her to carry. Without missing a beat she asks me, "What was so funny during class?". I explained to her what happened and we were both cracking up in the parking lot, her a little more than me because I was in pain from the workout.

This is the best way for me to explain to you what happened to me during the workout or what went through my mind to make me lose it during class. Here it is... and then this...

So in all fairness I can honestly say. I had a White Chicks moment.
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Survivor

Like Jeff Probst says on Survivor season after season.

"I got nothing for you, return to camp."

Good story for tomorrow. If I have time I'll post it today.
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Weekend Round-Up

This weekend was a little less adventurous than others that I have had. I spent a great deal of time getting the much needed rest and relaxation that I needed.

Friday
I packed some more of my things. I'm finally started to get a direction of how I want to pack things away. I also got to catch a movie at the theater and at home. I went to see The Unborn with my roommate and his brother. I wasn't a bad movie, but it wasn't that a great movie either. Although it was a horror movie there wasn't anything scary about it. I would save my money and catch it when it comes out on DVD. Speaking of DVDs, I rented the new Matthew McConaughey movie, Surfer Dude. I think I lost brain cells watching the movie. There is nothing else to say about the movie, but to not watch it.

Saturday
I learned why warning signs are posted everywhere, even though it was the hard way.

When you go to leave the shower at my gym there is a sign that reads, "Please dry completely off before leaving this area.". I guess I should've followed the rules. Shortly after leaving the area dripping wet I went splat on my ass. I could feel myself falling in slow motion. Luckily I have a little padding in the buttocks area to absorb most of my fall. This time when I fell people actually seemed concerned about me. I totally blame myself for this mishap. I did learn that all I need to do is be half naked and wet and people will help me out. No shit rule goes into effect today. (I'm not kidding either.)

I also attended a birthday party that lasted until 6 AM in the morning. I didn't get to take pictures because we were having such a good time knocking beers back and cracking jokes. A very special "FU" goes to the bartender for skipping through some classic songs.

Sunday
I played catch up on everything.

Today
I will hopefully be about 85% packed and make my rounds to all the places I need to collect valuable information from. Today I will be inspired to be productive.

Food (No Thought)

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." -- Dr. Hannibal Lecter, "The Silence of the Lambs"

I thought I would just throw that quote out there. Not really sure why, but some how it fits in with rest of the post.

Yesterday after the gym I decided to stop by my neighborhood Albertsons to grab a couple of things from dinner. To my surprise my favorite homeless suitcase packer was slowly but steadily packing his groceries into two suitcases. I run into him a lot. Sometimes I have to move to the other side of the store because of his stench and other times I just see him through the doors and don't bother going in until he leaves.

One of these days I'm going to follow him and see just where he goes. I think that he lives behind the 24 Hour Fitness close to the house. That seems to be the only place where I've seen him walk. I still can't get over the fact that he grocery shops or has the money to do so. He doesn't just buy a couple of things either. He always has a cart full of things. Never meats for obvious reason. It doesn't get that cold during the night. I'm just glad he's not toting beers and cheap wines around the store.

I'm in some sort of way intrigued by the homeless since I never really saw any until I joined the Navy. I always want to know the story behind what got them to this point. Just never really ever had the courage to ask a homeless. Next time I cough up a couple of bucks to one I'm just going to ask.

On a lighter note it's Friday and time for some funny. I saw this on you tube and it brought a smile to my face. Hope it does the same for you. This one's for you LLE. It should put a smile on your face.

Dysfunctional Blog

I guess I have been having some problems with my blog. I didn't know until someone pointed it out to me. Hopefully things are up and running again.
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Gym Rant #6

Today was another chaotic day at the gym. It just seems like the people just keep coming out of the wood work. It almost looked like some sort of parade in there.

I like the gym. It's my place of release. Most of the time I'm a mellow dude at the gym. Today I had to pull the asshole card out of my back pocket and exercise it on some guy. I'm all for calling dibs on exercise equipment when the gym is packed like it is. What I'm not okay with is some random guy standing over me. Watching me. Breathing hard with his hands on his hips.

So here I am on the situp machine doing my thing. Everytime I went down I saw him. Everytime I came back up I saw. I could have put my arm out and touched the dude he was standing so close. So after about 10 I can't help myself.

Me: Do you mind moving back some. I feel like your almost on me. I'll make sure you get this right after I'm done.

Dude: I'm good. I don't want to get in anyone else's way.

Me: I don't want you to be in anyone else's way either, but I also don't want to feel like you're in my personal space.

Dude: Well if you hurry we both can get what we want.

(If I was a black woman he would have definitely got the "Oh Hell Nall", some neck popping and a little finger waving.) (I'm a guy and trying to learn to act my age and not bark at everyone I see.)

Me: Sure thing buddy.

I pick up the machine and take it an entirely different area. The whole time keeping eye contact with the guy. I take it all the way to the other side of the gym. Do some situps. He follows. I take it back to the other side of the gym. He follows. Finally I give up. I give him the situp machine. I know I'm supposed to be working on being positive, but I can't let this guy win.

So I do what any self-respecting man does. I return the favor. I get as close to him as possible and I stand there. I stand so close with my back to him that if I farted sweat from my ass would pop like popcorn all over his face. After about 5 or 6 situps he just gets message and storms off. As he walks away he makes sure to call me an "asshole". The only thing going through mind was that I wish I would have farted.

"Like popcorn"
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Gym Rant #5

It's that time of year when everyone has decided that they're going to put forth the effort to lose weight or better there health. Too bad it will probably only last a few weeks. For the time being I'll just have to gut it out when I"m at the gym.

I think because I have a workout class at the gym early on Monday I didn't get to see the "New Year" crowd. Today was like one train wreck after another. I couldn't go here or there. I think I bumped into more people than I did workout. Though it might seem as though I'm complaining, I'm happy for all the people who have found inspiration to get off their rump and make a change for the better. I just need them to move a little to the left when I walk by.

In other news the movers are coming by tomorrow to give me an estimate on how much it's going to cost me to move back up North. I got most of everything packed for the most part. Just a little things that I need for right now. I'm officially within 2 weeks of the move. I'm just as pumped to move back as I was to move here. I'm just hoping that I'm not cutting my loses too soon by moving back. The last thing I want is to regret something or miss out on a great opportunity. You only get so many chances.
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Would You Mind?

A little treat arrived today in the form of a dream. This little dream had me getting down and dirty with some of your(my) favorite celebrities. It started off with Bea Arthur and I in a pool of cherry Jell-O. Not really. Just thought I would throw that in there to wake you up.

There was her and her and her and even her in the dream. It's all a little bit jumbled right now. I can't really make out who was doing what, but I do know that everyone was all having a good time. The only thing I remember was walking up sweaty and disillusioned about the whole fiasco.

The only thing I remember was that I was putting a new spin on my bedroom antics. All of sudden I hear my named being screamed/belted from the other room. It turns out it was my soon-to-be-wife Katherine Heigl.

"You're supposed to be at the chapel, dammit!"

"This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I have to come and drag your black ass out of bed."

"You better be dying!"

She comes bursting through the door like some kind of action here and there is her and her and her and her frozen as if someone just said, "Say Cheese!". I looked around for a camera man, hopefully having a reason to justify what I was doing. Only there wasn't one, so I did the next best thing anyone in my situation would have done...I panicked and went for the window and here I am now typing this story on the computer.

And before you go judging me, I just want you to think about the current situations in the world. Hey, it’s a crap economy, people are at war, gas prices have finally starting to settle. This stuff is free.

Feel a little better about your fantasies? Everyone wants to use something new out of the spice rack every once in a while…makes something old completely new and interesting again. Give it a shot or at least have one hell of a dreamlike I did. Thanks again ladies. Hopefully I see them tomorrow. I wonder is Sandra Bulluck is available?

Two points if you can tell who sings that title of the blog. It all connects.

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Reflections 2008/2009

Even though I'm a few days late on this one I figured I would post it anyways. I do have a couple of New Year's resolution just like the next guy. My commitment as an individual is not to project, reform any habits, or lifestyle change. It's just to be a better me for me.


Things I'm leaving in 2008:
  • All the f!cking "Single Ladies". I'm not putting a ring on nothing. Not even your toe.
  • "Will Smith" movies. Two movies in a row disappointed me. Wild Wild West anyone?
  • Las Vegas, NV
  • Madonna, Kanye West, Lindsey Lohan and any other celebrity that I'm sick of hearing about. "What that you say? Tie them up and have them run over by a train. Noooooo."

Things that will stay the same:
  • Being black.
  • Blogging. It's the only way I get to get to "exercise the demons".
  • Going to the gym and staying in shape. Who doesn't have this on their list of things?
  • Better my education.
  • Eat Right.

Things I'm taking into 2009:
  • Kings Of Leon - Only By the Night - The Kings of Leon have achieved something great with this album. This Album is my pick of the year for "Rock Album of the Year", maybe "Album of the Year". A couple of brilliant highlights on the Album are "Use Somebody", "Sex on Fire" and "Cold Desert". Keep in mind this is only mind opinion. I'm entitled to it. (Honerable mention: One Republic - Dreaming Out Loud)
  • A positive attitude. I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. With all that's going on in the world it's nice to have a great outlook on life. This year try not to let anyone rain on your parade.
  • Finding a job.
  • Manage debt/save money.
  • Volunteer to help others.
  • Taking a trip somewhere.
  • Reducing stress.
  • Be involved (again).
  • Short term goals. Life is a lot easier this way for me.
  • Read more books. I made it through 3 this year. One less than last year.
  • Move!
The lists will probably change as the year progresses, but I plan to stick firm to them all. Just you watch.

The McRib is back!
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Change

The new year has rolled in with a surge of energy. I'm only 4 days into the new year and my life has already starting turning upside down. I guess I shouldn't use the words "upside down", I should say change.

From the blog to my living arrangements. From my underwear to my transportation. Basically everything in my life is about to change.

Currently I live in Las Vegas, NV. The home of prostitutes and casinos. By months end I will be returning to the PACNORWEST to reside again. Only this time it won't be Washington, I'll be making Portland, OR my new home until I'm back and running on my feet. There is a really long story behind the move; sort of a dramatic one. I'm not sure if anyone wants all the details, but it has caused me to pack up my belongings and hit the road.

This month I'll spend most of my time packing, saying my goodbyes and closing out all ties to Las Vegas. By the 21st of this month I hope to be on the road heading up North. It'll be 17 hours of travel time. Just me, the dog and nothing but open road. Kind of reminds me of one of the movies I used to watch as a kid. The guy and his dog take off for a road trip. Most of the time the trips where either to Florida or California. It's 2009, I can take my trip where ever the wind takes me. It just happens to be taking me to Oregon this time.

I'll keep you posted if anything changes. The blogs will still keep coming. I hope that everyone's year is off to a great start.

Happy New Year

Just stopping by to wish you and yours a Happy New Year. Hope the Holidays were good to you as well.