Terry Crews

So I promised a story yesterday and here it goes.

So on Mondays I go to a class at the gym called "Testosterone". The slogan of the class is, "A class to bring out the man in the man.". It has to be some of the most grueling workouts that I've ever done in my life. I'm a pretty tough guy and like to think that I'm in pretty good shape. I don't think that I've ever been able to function after completing one of the classes. I come home, shower and go right to bed for a few hours. By the way the class is at 2 in the afternoon. I can honestly say that unlike most of the meathead guys that have taken the class I've yet to throw up. I've come mighty close though.

Yesterday we had a replacement teacher for some reason. Usually it's a little short guy who kind of looks and sounds like this guy. (I've seen this guy on a couple of shows. Always cracks me up.) I spend a lot of time just laughing to myself because he sounds and acts just like the guy. It's funny how I get a kick out of some of the most random things. His replacement was one of the ladies who takes the class with us. She was just as intense as he is.

Usually when he teaches class he plays Hip-Hop or Rock music while we workout. She brought Techno and threw my entire workout off. It wasn't the point that it was Techno. It was the point that it was Techno to some of the most popular songs. It's crazy how a song can take a different form once it's been "Technoed". We are a little over halfway through with the workout when it happens.

I like to think of it in 3 ways. I had one of the following moments:

"A gay moment."
"A non-black person moment." or
"A White Chicks moment."

When this moment happens we are in the middle of jump roping. The beat comes in with a couple of piano chords and I instantly can tell what song is about come next. Not like some of the others that took me some time to catch on to what was playing. Then the words start blaring from the speakers...

"Making my way downtown, walking fast
Faces pass and I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead, just making my way
Making a way through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
In my head I even mad the sounds in between the verses. Don't even play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I had this shit-eating grin plaster all over my face. The instructor gives me the weirdest look and without blinking she says, "Everyone down in the pushup position; someone is having way to much fun here today!". I look around just like everyone, pretending to not know who she's talking about. I wish I could tell you that the pushups made me forget that that songs was playing, but I would be lying to you.

I made it through that class in one piece without throwing up again. Afterwards I had to help the instructor take her bag back to her car because it was just too heavy for her to carry. Without missing a beat she asks me, "What was so funny during class?". I explained to her what happened and we were both cracking up in the parking lot, her a little more than me because I was in pain from the workout.

This is the best way for me to explain to you what happened to me during the workout or what went through my mind to make me lose it during class. Here it is... and then this...

So in all fairness I can honestly say. I had a White Chicks moment.
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~Sheila~ said...

Well, I can say since you are the only black male blogger that I know...you make a great Terry Crews even if it is in the gym!

Now, Don't end up in prison selling Cheeseburgers and you'll be fine!

Wes said...

The variety of technoed songs never ceases to amaze me. Everything from Tupac to Sarah Mclaughlin has gotten a beat faster than my pulse after a few pixie sticks slapped onto it.

Cin said...

A workout that makes you throw up? HOLY SHIT! That IS intense!

Brad said...

I would have lost it - too funny

Mike said...

I can totally relate. When I hear certain songs with funky beats or whatever, I can't help but smile and/or laugh the whole time. People look at me like I'm crazy, but I wonder why the song doesn't have the same effect on them.

Pam said...

A "white chicks" moment! I love it! But a workout that makes you throw up...scary.

Lady Jaye said...

Not going to lie but White Chicks is one of my all-time favorite movies. My best friend and I went to go see it and he uses it as my ringback tone when I call him. I think I would have died laughing if it had come on during my workout!

Life, Love And Lola said...

I can't read your blog. Or, maybe I'm blind...or drunk...or it may be my computer...I just can't read it. How do I fix this????

Mo said...

Dude, I seriously think I would have stopped mid workout and been laughing so hard with that sort of memory/tie in.

And then I would have had to regroup and try not to pee myself. Just saying...

Ace C said...

I thought I was the only one who thought that about bloggers. Cheeseburger Eddy.

When I say intense, I mean intense.

Me too.

At least one person throws up a class.

@Lady Jaye
I'm with you on that one. I laughed my ass off the whole movie.

I hope you can read it.

GM said...


Why do people think black blogger's are a rarity ?

Class workouts are a little on the gay side to begin with so that music should not surprise you ( don't take that as a diss I know it's probably a good way to pick up women )

BTW: I'm a blogger that happens to be black :)

Life, Love And Lola said...

K! Now I can read it. A "White Chick" moment...No wonder I can relate to you! LMAO!