Sliding Memory

A couple days ago I was over at Moe's blog. He had a post about things that he missed. Some of the things he could probably get back with a little effort and others were practically out of his reach.

While leaving the grocery store I had a "things I miss moment", in the parking lot. After sacking the groceries I decided to push the cart at full speed like any other testosterone filled man would do. I just wanted to return the cart to the cart return in style. Show the other people putting groceries into their car how cool I still was.

One problem. It snowed the day before and the parking lot was covered in a thin sheet of ice. I guess my gym shoes are only made for running around the track at the gym. They were pretty worthless when it came to stopping the cart. As I slide in the direction of the cart return I felt gravity yank really on hood of my hoodie and down I went. Right on my ass. I wasn't even smart enough to let go of the cart. I held onto the cart as I went down. Luckily my arms worked that day and I didn't get smashed in the face by the cart.

I could feel the pain rushing all over. I had my gym pants on. The cold had made its way through to my underwear. Those adolescent years of peeing in the bed came rushing back. I sprung to my feet and to my surprise no one had saw. Just me, the cart, the ice and the still of the night knew what just happened to me.

Moe asked the question, "You miss anything?". The answer is yes! F!ck yea!

I missed the days when I could fall, lose a tooth, fall out of a tree, never get found in "Hide and Seek", crack my head open, get into a fight and still manage to get back in there without missing a beat.

Now it does work that way. My ass, legs and lower back are killing me right now. I almost cried it hurt so bad. I had to talk myself down. I wanted to go and yell at those people because in the back of my mind I know they saw me fall. I needed my boo-boo kissed.

So thanks Moe for sending me down memory lane. My aging body appreciates it.

A little Friday humor:



I've been saying this for years now that people with cats are crazy.
"This is not a photo shop trick. There aren’t any imaginateers at Pixar that can create this shit. Just when you thought you were having a less than stellar day in the hair department, tah dah. I suggest that everybody print this shit out and stick it in the corner of their bathroom mirrors. We may not always like what we see in it but clap your hands and tell Jesus thank you that you didn’t get dealt these fucking cards."

The caption came with it. Enjoy.

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6 comments:

fiwa said...

Ok, I was JUST thinking about that same thing tonight. I was watching a teenage boy go running and slide across the ice in the parking lot - and I thought "that looks like fun but there is no way in HELL I would try it now." Now days I think about the aches and bruises and sore muscles long before I think about how much fun it would be. Hey - at least no one saw you.

And I WILL send you cookies - those were oatmeal chocolate chip with cherries in them, but I will make plain chocolate chip for you. Send me your address and give me a few days -we are heading into round two of the storms.
fiwa6831@yahoo.com

love,
fiwa

Mike said...

I thought you were going to say that you gave the cart a good push and let it "drive" itself into the cart corral, but it hit a car instead and that car just happened to be a new Bentley.

Good thing you didn't break yourself, young man.

King of New York Hacks said...

Moe's sight touched me too. Cool post.

Life, Love And Lola said...

OUCH! If I witnessed all of this I would have helped you up. I would have been laughing my ass off, but I would have helped you up!

Live.Love.Eat said...

what a perfect picture for you terrible experience. Can you be sure no one saw you. There's ALWAYS someone lurking in their cars.

Hope you feel better. Wait until you're 37. Neck and back pains are a regular thing now. I am feeling old.

Life On The Tail Of A Comet said...

hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!