Gym Rant #3

So as usual I was in the gym last night getting my last bit of cardio in. I had the iPod blaring some Kanye West, I was sweating like a pig and trying my best to keep from falling off the machine. I had my head down most of the time because I didn't want anyone to see me mouthing the words. I picked my head up to find this lady on the thigh abductor. I'm still not sure if this piece of equipment should be allowed in the gym. I do know that men should steer clear of it.


The lady, not the one above, but a different lady was just going at it on the machine. She pushed out and then released in and repeated what seemed like a million times. I was happy that I was behind her because and could only see her back. The last thing you want to do is be the guy who gets caught checking out the chic's crotch(Is there another name for that area?) area. There are a lot of things I want to be when I grow up. That is not one of them. When I was younger I probably would have went and sat in front of her. There was no shame in my game. Just put it out there. If they bite fine, if not their regret. Now I'm a little more reserve avoid this machine at all cost.

As I'm powering my way through my work up I look up and spot a older couple working out. The couple is doing some form of a leg curl on the machine. The guys wife is lying face down doing the exercise. He on the other hand is not paying any attention to his wife. He is trying his best to peek at the lady on the thigh abductor. He looks at the lady and then his wife. He repeats this over and over and over. I look around to make sure that I'm not the only one who sees this guy looking. I am. Dammit, I just needed conformation from someone else, but I was the only one who saw the dude. It went on the whole time she was on the machine.

I not really sure what part about the dude that annoyed me. I'm all down for catching a look, but dude acted like he'd never seen anything like it before. I wanted to get off the stair climber, go get him, put his head in between her legs and give him a lesson on what's down there.

She eventually moved to another piece of equipment in front of me and my annoyance went away only for it to happen to me. I guess with the thigh abductor comes the thigh adductors. It's basically the same machine but it goes in the opposite direction. Right in front of me. She would go in and then out. I couldn't help but look. I looked down, up, at the treadmills, the magazine I had. I just couldn't stop looking. It was like a magnet folks pulling me in ever so slowly. Finally I just removed myself off the machine to make it easier on me. I could just seeing getting asked to leave the gym for violating someone.

I guess the moral of the story is... "Don't judge until the chic's crotch is in your face."

Damn the irony.
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6 comments:

Justin Wright said...

LOL, I remember those machines when I used to weight lift in college. There would always be a group of guys hiding out somewhere with a perfect view. It really is hard to look away when it's right in your face like that.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Was she hot at least?

Ace C said...

@Justin
Trust me bro it was. I think I actually made eye contact with her a couple of times.

@LLE
She was a MILF.

Mo said...

I am not touching this one. Nope. Not one bit.

Cin said...

LMAO!! I could just see you trying to avert your eyes the entire time. I bet it was probably funnier to watch your reaction. LOL!

....You Sick Bastard said...

MILF's are doable. Here is what I would do:

"Ma'am, I don't mean to be forward but I would like to bang you right now on this machine"