Close and Then Open

What is jail?
"is a correctional institution used to detain persons who are in the lawful custody of the state. This includes either accused persons awaiting trial or for those who have been convicted of a crime and are serving a sentence of less than one year."
So WTF was I doing there?

Many of you have already thought the worst and I would've thought the same thing too. Let me set the record straight. I didn't go to jail to go to jail. I went for my roommates father's correctional officer graduation. If that makes since. He's retired USN and has gotten the working itch again. Both my roommate and his brother are both cops. Their dad being past his prime decided to go a little lighter and become a correctional officer.

There you have, the reason I went to jail.

I do have to say I don't think that I would be able to survive there. I would have killed myself the first night. The gates, the guards, the food, the people and the list could go on. I kind of felt uncomfortable being there. You could see the prisoners playing basketball in orange jumpsuits. You could see the guard towers with armed guards. The whole thing with one gate closing before another could open. I felt like a lab rat running for that cheese at the end of the maze. Just get me the f#$@ out of here!

Talk about some boring stuff. They actually had guest speakers. Guest speakers?! Not so much. I'm not quite sure what you tell a bunch of middle aged men and women, but I'm pretty sure they would've like to opt out of the "Life's Lessons" speeches. I kept looking around to make sure that I wasn't the only one who thought the speeches were a little excessive. F%$# it! They were unwarranted. None of the people look to be under 25. Maybe the heat had everyone's mind clouded. It seemed like it went on forever. A bunch of lame jokes from the 80's were told too, with few laughs or giggles. Luckily it only lasted about an hour.

I was a 2 seconds away from asking to be locked up if it lasted any longer.
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kimmyk said...

Jamie works in a max. security prison...he calls it "babysitting America's finest". Oh the stories he tells...lockdowns, man lovin', fights, death and despair. crazy ass shit!

but it pays the bills so....

Mo said...

Not only would you survive, you'd be the head bitch.

fiwa said...

I figured YOU weren't in jail, but I thought maybe you were bailing someone out.

That's what you get for being a blog-tease though...

Life On The Tail Of A Comet said...

I knew you were too good to actually be in there as a resident-even for a short while. There is a commercial out there where someone is droning on and on in a graduation speech and a young upstart stands up and shouts "the end" or "done" or something like that- it's great!Glad you didn't get locked up.