Prelude to "I Saw Beyonce @ Burger King, Twice"

I'm finally free to get this post about my date yesterday finished. I suggest you go and get yourself some hot cocoa, coffee, soda, chips, maybe popcorn or whatever you need to sit and make this blog experience the best. I'm going to try to make you feel like you were there with me.

Here goes.

Let me give you a little background first. To get myself out of the house I've been going to the local B&N. Not that it's a hot spot or anything, but I need to use that membership as much as I can. Mo talked me into getting that damn card, so I'm using it as much as I can. 25.00 Dollars is a lot for a cheap skate like me. "Why back in my day...". Memories from my Grandfather start to appear. Next door is a Whole Foods. I've never really been in one, but remember that they were all the craze in WA. They are a little on the expensive side to me though. I was sitting in the deli part of it drinking a smoothie and eating some kind of soup. (Side note: This sounds like something right out of a romantic comedy. I wonder who will play me. I wonder if Will Smith is available. Maybe Ben Affleck. Wonder what Samuel L. Jackson is doing? Maybe he say one of his catch phrases and I'll forever be remembered.) This is only my second time going in there. I was sitting reading my book. I just happened to use the biggest table in there. Didn't want to be at one of the small tables and look like I was by myself. I was thinking if I sat at one of the bigger tables it would at least look like I might be waiting for someone to join me. I guess everyone doesn't think the same way I do. Especially not this little Hispanic chic and what appeared to be her boyfriend. She comes up and ask, "Do you mind if we join you? There are no other tables and you seem to be by yourself at this one.".

First thing that goes through my head, "Who does this chic think she is?". Second thing that goes through my mind, "Spill the soup all over the table, just to get them to go away.". Third thing, "You're being a dick! Just share the table and hope that they don't want to have too much conversation with you.". Fourth thing, "I'm the King of the World!" Shit! Wrong movie.

30 minutes later. The guy that looked like her boyfriend just so happened to be her little brother. She works at a bank and seems to be one of those free-spirited types. She almost had a Seattle vibe to her. Just not as "earthy" or "homely". And no I didn't use those words around her. I've been told several times that women don't like to be called either of the two of those words. I still don't see why not, but who am I?

Shorter story longer. I didn't spill my soup. We ended up hitting it off. I guess yesterday was the official first date, but we met earlier in the week for her brother's soccer game. She spent the whole time giggling like a school girl. None of you know this, but I can make a cat giggle turds. Spend about 5 minutes with me and you'll need a kidney transplant. I guess it's in the genes and no I don't wear Bugle Boy jeans. I'm a Jordache man. Joking folks. Joking. So the story will go from there.
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fiwa said...

You tease. You are just stringing us along with this story.

Mo said...

Ha. Fiwa called you out!

Ben can't play your black ass and Sammy is too old. Will is a nice in between choice. LL Cool J too since he has no issues taking his shirt off and we know you do too once you've been hitting the sauce and you're feeling it.

I'm still laughing at you getting picked up on at Whole Foods. You know that was a total pick up right? And Whole Foods is known for such activity.

And the big table theory usually works...should we be glad it didn't this time?

Oh that's right. You're holding out on us.


Brad said...

The Ladies got to you before I could. WTF! where's the f'ing good part of the story.

Did you just call Seattle Girls Homely?

It's gonna suck to be you when you come home.

paolo said...

I don't think this is the stuff for a romantic comedy. I think it's the stuff for an advertising campaign:

Wholefoods=Whole(completely, fulfilled, multi cultural) life.

Although they may have to leave out the part about Cat giggling turds.

that is really just a youtube phenom waiting to explode....

paolo said...

BTW- did you use the line:

"I don't know about your brother, but I can give you a ride home if you need it."

to find out that he was indeed her brother?!

Cin said...

"Cat Giggle Turds"...Thats a classic! :)