When keeping it real goes wrong...

So who knew Dave Chapelle's signature saying would come into play two days ago. I'll blow pass the unnecessary details and get right down to the "nitty gritty".

While I was out on that day trip in Lake Havasu, I met a fine little "tenderona" that was trying hard to "sell me candy". So I bought it.

Yep! That means I had a date, but just not any date. I had a double date. It was going to be a double date with my roomie and one of her friends, which just happened to be a mutual friend of ours. The only problem with that is that her friend has a thing for my roomie, he doesn't share the same feeling. They have been playing "cat and mouse" for a while now, he hasn't ever had the courage to tell her that he has no interest. She's started becoming very pushy and starting to do things that only girlfriends would do. So the time has finally come to tell her or at least that's what I have told him.

"You just have to keep it real, bro."

The plan was to tell her at the end of the night. There were a few things that no one took into consideration.

Things that we should have thought of before implementing the plan:
1. Don't carpool with the person whose heart you are about to break.
2. Don't leave your keys, 3. phone, 4. and camera in her car.
5. Never try comforting a drunk women who you got drunk on purpose so that she would stop cocking blocking your date, just so that you could have a good time and possibly go on a second date with her friend.
Back to the story.

After he broke the news to her, all hell broke lose or so that's what it felt likeShe didn't have much of a reaction to what he told her. At this point we were all ready to get out of there. My roomie, my date and me said our goodbyes in hopes that she would want to end the night and take us back to our cars, WRONG! She disappeared into the sweaty and probably drunk people forgetting about their cares on the dance floor. The dance floor, which probably represented the lives that they were leaving behind for the 2 or 3 hours of of shear pleasure. 2 or 3 hours of getting, "Low, low, low, low!". She went past the the dudes standing stiffly on the sides of the wall, who obviously came with each other and were waiting for the drunk chic to walk by and pounce when the time was right. Into V.I.P she went.

"Damn, Damn, Damn, Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn!"
"How in the fuck are we going to get home!"
"We can walk, it's maybe like 3 or 4 miles down the road to our cars."
"These hills are killing my feet."
"You want my tenny shoes?"
"My keys, my phone, my camera!"
"This is bullshit"
"If I wasn't drunk, I would beat this bitches ass!"
"We didn't think this one out."
Those were all random things that came out of the 3 of our mouths as we walked out of the club, out of the casino and into a crowd of drunk tourist wondering the streets of Las Vegas. A scene that could only be out of a movie. "Spielberg! You can scream cut any time."

Thank God we had a relief ride to rescue us. Thank God for her sober sister that just so happened to be at the club to drive her home, enabling me to get my key, my phone, and my camera. Thank God for a sense of humor, because I was praying to God to make me a chic for just 5 minutes to kick this chics ass. And thank God for letting me experience this, because I now know what happens, "When keeping it real goes wrong".

Lake Havasu City

Tuesday was a good day. It was spent taking a short 2 hour road trip to Lake Havasu City, Arizona for some fun in the sun.

16 of us hit the road early Tuesday morning. With my iPod playing the latest cuts we were on our way to have a good time. The only negative was the drive there because there wasn't much for scenery, just dry desert.

With a quick stop at Wal-Mart after we arrived and a little drama(What's a trip without any?), it took no time to get on the boat and get the liquor flowing, food cooking, tubing, swimming and cliff diving.

I guess there comes a time in a every man's life where he has to be adventurous! This is about all that you are get from me.

Black folks after eating chicken wings. Somebody forgot to bring the damn watermelon.
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Go Celtics!

Here's to the Celtics. Hopefully today is the last and the rightful owners of a NBA title will be crowned.


Celtics win by the whopping 39 points. Who knew? I know one person that didn't and now she is kicking herself in the ass and getting wasted on some Goose and lemonade. There is always next year, my dear friend.
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Newscaster Switches Personality!

You know it's always nice to see the Negro come out! You can only hide it for so long. Where will you be when your inner Negro comes out? Hopefully not being recorded!

What closely for the bug!


What Wo(MEN) Eat/THink?!

I came across this very interesting survey of how women judge men by what they eat. I would like to throw out the "BS" flag, but who knows it might be true. Below are some of the examples the article gave.

"Steak - It's hot when a dude orders steak. That said, everything in moderation. I went out a few times with a tattooed pseudo-stud who ordered steak compulsively. It was cute —until I realized he was doing Atkins. Just like you don't want to know when we feel fat, we don't want to know that you're on a fad diet.

Fish - I really like you! You're confident and comfortable in your own skin. You appreciate the finer things and you’re a little bit health-conscious. Again, just don't order it every time, or I’ll start thinking you’re uptight.

Pasta - Perfecto. Just please don't wear a bib. And if you order something boring like pasta primavera, own it. Say you're in the mood for something simple. Otherwise I might picture myself in Napa sipping a pinot while you’re reaching for a Michelob Light.

Dumplings – You’re cute. Cute as a button, or, er…a dumpling.

General Tso's Chicken - You're not one to go against the grain, but hey, there's nothing wrong with an easygoing fella.

Greek salad - Points for culture, but just like we can't do the salad, you can't either. I don't care how much feta is in there.

Chicken tenders - Is your momma coming to dinner with us, little buddy?

Pad thai - Safest bet on the menu, but the fact that you suggested Thai in the first place is cool.

Fajitas - You're sizzling company. Just make sure you don't get any of that sizzle on my sweater.

Turkey - If it's not Thanksgiving and you're not at Subway, don't order turkey. I can't explain it but just trust me on this one.

Game - Uh, as long as it's not accompanied by hunting-with-Daddy stories, do your thing. And one more thing...please don't sport mandals.

Pizza - If we're at a Pizzeria or a pub, it's all good, but if we are at a white table-clothed restaurant, you might want to aim a little higher. I mean, what’s for dessert—karaoke with your frat brothers?

Burger – You’re a solid man of good taste. You know what you like and you better give me a bite.

Sushi – You’re a keeper. Especially if you do the omakase and If you have the courage to try blowfish, I’d like you to meet my family.

Dessert - Let's save this for the fifth date. By that time we both won't care about an extra five pounds."
Is there any truth to this?
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reading a new book

Well I got through 3 books so far this year and I just start working on my 4th book. I got bored so I figured it was time to fill the void.

I picked up Joshua Ferris', Then We Came to the End.

It's a pretty humorous book about a group of copywriters and designers in Chicago as their ad agency faces layoffs at the end of the '90s boom or depression. It goes into great detail about the different personalities and every day things that go on at work. I think that everyone can relate to the characters in this book and the ideologies that the author expresses though them.
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When I Get Drunk

I get naked!
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Running from the heat...

and everything else that Las Vegas has to offer. As the heat rises and my skin approaches the color purple, I can't help but wonder if I have made the right choice.
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