Passenger 57

Non-refundable; non-exchangeable ticket.

The flight doors are now closed!

Breaking up is an experience. It can be especially painful when you still love the person you're breaking up with, even though you may not be right for each other. While letting go might not be easy, it's the healthy thing to do and really is the fastest way to heal. Band-Aids removed. While I appreciate the good times I had together and why you love, focusing on only those things have clouded my judgment.

I'm occupied. Now that I'm single, I have a lot more time to myself. I'm picking my blog back up where I left it and returning to my creative outlet.

Moving on with my life. There's been nothing wrong with taking a day or two to cry and be sad, but it's been years. 3 years to be exact. The more time I spend thinking about what went wrong and how things could have been, the longer it's taken me to reclaim my life. That song playing on the radio isn't about me or my struggle... it's about their experience. Although I can relate...I choose to not dwell in their melodies of sorrow. Instead I choose to hear their words, learn and strike up my own path to being "heart healthy".

Thirty-four
 has been good to me and I'm improving. I feel like I'm at that point in my favorite movie where the inspirational song  is cued, a montage plays showing my struggle and now I'm strong enough to run up a flight of stairs...punch a punching bag off it's rack or nail a killer 8 count dance routine...complete with a backflip.  I'm breaking any habits that I've been meaning to get rid of and I'm going to start being the best version of myself. Opening myself up to the life, love and relationships that will really make me happy. Cultivating the relationships that I know will flourish and enhance my life.

Over the summer someone that I was spending quality time with did something that many people never do with me. They called "Bullshit" on my point of view. At that moment it stopped me in my tracks; I stumbled over my hurdle. Had me feeling like Lolo Jones in her last two Olympic bids. Watching everyone make it to the finish line, while my dumbass sits sulking. I instantly wanted to turn into a lion, roar and take a chunk out...but held it all in. I learned that day about representation and presentation of my life's events. I also learned that I needed to own my shit. So...

Dear Passenger 57

I've lingered around this layover for far too long. It's caused me to be stagnant. It's caused me to be bitter. It's caused me to be angry. It's also kept me from fully opening up to someone else, out of fear that you would come around again and I'd let you board this plane.

Today I'm owning me and I'm flying one way into the sunset(Corny...I know.). Destination unknown.

Fade to black.

My name is Ace, you better ask about me!
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Intro to Your Life

Sometimes I find myself thinking about the most random things when I have nothing to do. Today I came up with, "You're writing your autobiography. What's your opening sentence?"

And I came up with...

"All the names and some the places have been changed to protect the identity of individuals and/or businesses. Reader discretion is advised, but highly encouraged..."
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Soundtracked Life

I came across a very interesting article about a soundtrack for the looming apocalypse aptly titled, "The Future Will Destroy You". Obviously just by the title alone you can see in which direction the article was headed. Lucky for you I'm not going to take you down that road today. I just don't think following yesterday's post with something like that would be ideal. Instead I would like you to explore the concept of the "soundtrack to your life". The STYL are the memories that are tied to specific songs that take you back to your first love, your first breakup, the death of parent, your high school graduation and maybe even the song that played the first time you got high and decided to drive home in extreme paranoia...this is the "soundtrack to your life".

There’s something phenomenal about how a certain song on the radio can help you shed the tears and move on after a hard break up. There's something remarkable about your iPod randomly selecting a song by Green Day that can light up your life and take you back to walking across the stage accepting your high school diploma. For most of us that was our highest achivement at that time. There something rare about when a song comes on and you can't help but to pick up the phone, call the person that it connected you to. Though you will never be a Whitney Houston or a Boyz II Men you still sing the song through the phone like it's your own. Many are magical moments that can't be repeated or duplicated. Many of the magical moments wouldn’t nearly be the same without the perfect song at the perfect moment. Songs help tell the story, create the atmosphere, express the feeling that sometimes you can't quite express yourself.

Don't you wish that your life could be composed. Come on folks take a walk with me. Just think about it...

There you are walking into your favorite bar, wearing you favorite articles of clothing, with the anticipation of your enjoying your first drink. As you walk through the door a dead silence comes over the bar and everyone slowly gazes in your direction. A few of your friends are in tow. You find yourself walking in slow motion as you reach the bar the bartender sends a cold one sliding down counter to you. As you stop it and prepare to qench your thirst, Usher's "Yeah" starts blaring from the speakers. As you drink in slow motion as well the lights dim and somehow everyone in the bar breaks into a choreographed routine. Tell me you've never thought of that. Hmm...

Every now and then you may be lucky enough to experience a soundtrack moment when a song plays and matches the exact instance in your life. Songs that tell a story, songs hold memories and songs play to your emotions.



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Chips, a Soda and a Thought

It's late, I'm at work and I'm dog tired. I realize that it's been a minute since I've come to my own personal blog and updated. I just haven't had the time nor motivation to put my thoughts down on paper. With the traveling, work and school I've been a busy man. By no means am I complaining because it's the little things like this that make me appreciate life and be thankful that I'm in good health.

Tonight I came across a post online that spoke to me and I thought I would share it with you. It's about another fellow blogger who has put her thoughts into a book. The book, ThxThxThx by author Leah Dieterich is really good about writing thank-you notes to life and everything in it. It's about giving the simple things in life their just praise. Here are a few things that she feels the simple things in life give you: 
  • It can ground you. 
  • It can turn the negative into a positive. 
  • They're like a diary. 
  • You get back what you put in.
I hope that each one of you can take out a little time out of your busy schedule and pay tribute to things that keep you going in life. Hopefully they map out a direction, a goal, or just give you a visual confirmation of who you are.
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Going Vegetarian

I'm thinking about making the transition to a vegetarian or vegan diet. I've been seeing a lot of stuff on TV about it recently and want to give it a good effort. With more and more emerging research supporting the benefits of a plant-based diet, along with fast growing demands, it is easier than ever to give being a vegetarian or vegan a try.

My first goal is to try it for a week and see how far that gets me. I'm going to try to stay away from the negative stereotypes that have plagued most vegetarian and vegans diets. I'm going into this with an open mind and a full heart. It's been a long time since I've been really secure about my body and I need to get back to enjoying it.

I've tried doing this several times before and have failed within a day or two. I think because I put to much pressure on myself. This time I have no expectations for myself or any pressures at the moment. It's just me and the fruits and veggies right now. Let's see what I can do.
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Happy Birthday 2 Me

I finally made it folks. The ripe old age of 30 has knocked on my door and I've taken the challenge.
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Happy New Year

Happy New Year Folks.
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Boston, Mass (The Blizzard)


So after Christmas we got this bug to head up to Boston. It's only a two and a half hour drive from where we are. Makes sense to any sensible person with a brain that has never been to Boston before. We learned Christmas night that there would be a blizzard headed our way, but being the men that we are we pushed on and said, "Fuck it!". When is the weather forecast ever right? When has anyone ever listened to their local weather man and thought that he/she might be giving pertinent information. Exactly, they never are for the most part.

The trip started off pretty well. We overslept by a couple of hours, but made short time of getting ready and headed out the door within 20 minutes of waking. The drive seemed to be unfolding quickly. We could see the snow flurries coming down, but it didn't look anything like a blizzard. Just the same flurries that I've seen 3 or 4 times in the last month. We decided to ride up the coast so that we could say that we had been through Rhode Island. We also passed some place where Mystic Pizza was filmed. I think that's a non-blackual fact. Have no clue about any of it.

As we approach Boston we start to see that there is one defining thing about this place...it's historical. We had already decided that we were going to walk "The Freedom Trail" on our own. They have it mapped out pretty well with a red line that runs through the city. Too bad we didn't come completely prepared for a 3 mile trek through flurries. Lucky for us the local H&M was able to supply all the accessories needed for a very affordable price. After acquiring what we need the tour was on. From one corner to the next we walked and walked. Never noticing that the snow was picking up more and more as we walked. By the time we finished the tour the snow was pouring from the sky and we looked liked walking sheets of snow. Somehow through all this we were able to procure a cab to get us back to the car, but that in itself was an adventure. Due to the weather there weren't many available and all the ones we waved down already had passengers in them. Thanks to my undeniable chocolate skin I was able to flag down a cabbie that was willing to help us get to our car. It was a slow in steady cab ride. Kind of expensive for the most part.

Pan forward about a hour or so and we are in the mist of a blizzard like no other I have ever seen. Pan forward 7 hours later we finally make it back to our town. Pan 30 minutes later we are able to find a street worth turning on. Thanks to following plow trucks. Pan forward to sitting in the house warm in my PJs and under a blanket I realize that weather forecast are there for a reason. Pan 7 years back when I was in this same place in the middle of a blizzard I would have never thought I would be in one again. Pan a week from now and I'll be back to grey skys and rain in Portland where I belong.
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The Day After

The day after Christmas I was able to reflect on a lot of things in life. Mostly just that the older I get the simpler I've become or maybe that Christmas just stresses me out. This year I decided that I wasn't going to celebrate Christmas or do as least possible for the holiday. I didn't do too many gifts. I didn't send out cards. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I did however wake up late, eat Thai food for breakfast/lunch, procrastinate, take a very long shower and have a intimate dinner with some people that I will probably be good friends for a long time. This has definitely been one of those years where I've done without a lot and I've coped better than expected.

Here's to 2011 hopefully staying simple.

How was your Christmas?
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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from NYC. I hope that all your wishes come true and that life it good to you!

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."  Norman Vincent Peale
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